As the Romans Do
by WhatareWordsIfnotLife
Summary: Loki finds himself forced to endure a punishment worse than what he suspects the All-Father capable of. Unfortunately, he has only himself to blame. Can he truly endure the price that comes of hiding on Midgard or will he happily turn himself over to the Chitauri? And why is this thing called coffee so infuriatingly delicious?
1. Escape

Loki was afraid. He, however, was not afraid of his brother who stood beside him looking just as idiotic as ever as he said his farewells to the group that called themselves the Avengers. He was not afraid of even Odin to whom he was to stand trial in front; the old man would no doubt show leniency if nothing more than for the sake of Frigga. Loki knew better than to expect a full pardon, but he did presume to be allowed to keep his life, which was all that was necessary for his eventual escape from whatever punishment the All-father deemed just. As his brother wrapped up his goodbyes Loki glared out at the group of superhero nitwits who had foiled his plan to rule Midgard; he certainly was not afraid of them, despite his current position. Loki took pause in his thoughts long enough to cast a sideways glance at the unassuming man, the scientist, who had tossed him around as if he were nothing more than a child's plaything; he swiftly averted his gaze the moment the meek man's eyes locked with his own. Admittedly, the green giant had been an unforeseeable, as well as misfortunate, oversight on his part. Still, it was not he who caused his normal flippant, bravado to falter; though, he would be a fool not to, to some degree, be a trifle weary of _that_ one. And a fool he certainly was not, which was why he, at that very moment, was desperately trying to calculate a way out of the very real threat of his imminent death.

The Chitauri had endorsed his campaign to rule Midgard, but only so long as he succeeded in his bid for total sovereignty. It had been made abundantly clear that failure would not be an option, especially for one without a death wish, for which Loki had none. The fools of Midgard thought themselves rid of the Alien threat, but they underestimated the Chitauri. The Other would be no doubt conferring with his master and plotting an even more hideous strategy than the one Loki had taken part in. Loki could care less about their nefarious designs, he would just as soon see the nine realms burn, however, he did not fancy burning far sooner than they. Therein lay his dilemma; his options were quite limited on how to go about securing his safety. He could make the assumption that Odin would somehow protect him from the Chitauri, a scenario that would have made him smirk in derision were it not for the damnable muzzle he was forced to endure, or, he could simply escape before he reached Asgard and take his chances alone. He much preferred the latter of his options; Odin, Thor, and the rest of their realm had lost all of Loki's previous adoration and faith. No, he would not leave his fate in their gangrenous hands.

It was time for them to depart and Loki was suddenly unsure of his half-laid plan to freedom. In all honesty, the God of Mischief was either about to do something extremely clever or terribly daft. Well, he thought wryly, if my Neanderthal of a brother can scrape by on luck and brawn alone, perhaps I too have a chance as well. With that thought in mind, Loki took hold of the Tesseract, turned the hand in tandem with his brother and, almost as abruptly, let go.

The pain was excruciating. He felt as if every piece if his being was coming undone. His descent into the wormhole the day the Bifrost had been destroyed by Thor's hammer could hardly compare; indeed, that time had almost been pleasant, well, up until the madness had set in. Now though, now he was sure he would be pulled apart until there was nothing left of him. Ripping himself away from the Tesseract's pull had very well proven to be the worst scheme he'd ever followed through with. Thor, he decided, was an atrocious role model to base one's life decisions on. It occurred to Loki, just as he was set to accept his ill fate, that, once again, he had failed miserably in succeeding.

Oh that wouldn't do, that wouldn't do at all. With every ounce of willpower he yet possessed, Loki forced what was left of his magic into guiding himself, albeit aimlessly, towards solid ground wherever that might be. It could be Asgard even; it mattered not, for he would, with great elation, kiss the ground. Loki braced himself as much as was possible against the ongoing agony, unaware that he had managed to force a path back to Midgard where he barreled into what had previously been a serene lake. A young woman, standing on a screened in porch of a well-worn cabin, played witness to his perilous arrival. She dropped the mug in which her freshly brewed coffee resided and whispered one incredulous word, "Fuck." A second later and she was speeding towards the lake, the screen door banging heavily behind her, muttering to herself, "It's too damn early for bodies to be flying right out of the sky."


	2. Saving a life Sorta

Hi there, if you're on chapter two then I maintain hope that this isn't actually that bad of a story. Forgive me for any plot holes or my ignorance of the Marvel universe. Please, not rotten tomatoes at least! It's all in good fun. Enjoy! :)

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><p>It was a fairly brisk day, certainly not the climate for an impromptu rescue mission where diving into a somewhat frigid lake in only ones ratty t-shirt turned nightgown was necessary. Really, what was she expecting to accomplish? Anyone falling from that altitude would be pulverized once they hit the water. It wasn't a shallow lake by any means, but any normal person would be killed on impact alone. But, on the off-chance she could save a life, Maddie was determined to try. Her bare feet slapped against the wooden planks of the old dock as she pushed herself to the end where she not-so-gracefully launched herself into the water as close to where she'd seen the body go in as she could manage.<p>

Oh, that is _cold _she all but shrieked in her mind. She forced herself not to scramble immediately to the surface like her body demanded she do, but instead commanded her limbs to propel her on until she couldn't hold her breath any longer. She breached the water's surface long enough to scan the area. No sign of a body floating had her dipping back under. I'm going to regret this, she thought, opening her eyes to try to find her missing person. As expected, her contact lenses protested against the rush of water, one slipping out of her left eye leaving that one a blurry hindrance. Thankfully the other stayed mostly in place as she scoured the murky expanse. There, a few meters ahead, she caught the faint glint of something metallic looking. Spurred on by the sighting she swam in that direction.

Please do me a favor and don't be dead, Maddie begged inwardly as she approached what was clearly, even to her handicapped vision, a body. Wasting no time she grabbed ahold of the closest thing to her, a limp wrist, noting vaguely the feel of hard metal under her hand as she did. She kicked off of the lake bed, struggling to bring up her precious cargo with her. The cold had seeped into her limbs, stiffening them and making every movement feel sluggish and increasingly difficult. With only her legs and the one arm to do the work, making it back to the surface was slow going. She broke through just as her oxygen levels had diminished dangerously. Aware that she was not the only one in need of oxygen, Maddie wrapped her other arm around her new friend and hoisted them up above the water using her own body as support. "Hey, are you alive? Can you hear me?" She called frantically, spitting out water in-between words. No response came, not that she really expected one. "Buddy, if you could wake up now that would really be great. No offense, but I totally can't feel my body anymore and lugging you all the way back to shore is going to suck the big one." Still no answer, "Oh, hell."

It took some doing, but she finally reached shallow waters. Her now aching appendages, rigid and turning slightly blue, made her look like a clumsy, newborn foal as she struggled to stand. Awkwardly she gathered up the sodden material of the man's strange clothing and dragged him haltingly the rest of the way to shore. The first thing she noticed when they were both on land was some sort of metal mouthpiece covering the lower half of the his face. The second, rather startling bit of information she gathered, was that the man was blue. Not just a little blue, but full on Smurfette, can't get any bluer than this- blue. She knelt back on her haunches, "No, that's not weird, not at all." Just as soon as the color appeared, it faded back into a pale, human pallor. She shook her head, "Yeah, absolutely. Why not?" Deciding to just go with it, Maddie reached over and gingerly touched the mask on the man's face. Carefully, she felt around for some way to pry it off. Surprisingly, it released itself with little prodding on her part. What now, she wondered, mouth to mouth? Maddie leaned down to administer what would probably be the shoddiest form of CPR ever, but stopped short when green eyes sprang open. "Oh," she said fairly aware of her hair dripping water onto his face, "You're not dead."

The man below her was, actually, quite nice-looking. She hadn't noticed even after his face was free from that strange contraption, too preoccupied with how she had never gone through with being a summer lifeguard and how that really would have come in handy right about then, to gawk appreciatively. But there he was, not dead, a monumental relief, and now she could relax and take in the sight of him. Flawless, if a bit pallid, skin with sharp, angular features; yeah, he could easily be someone's idea of a fantasy. "Where," a velvety, yet masculine voice intruded on her musings, "Am I?" Maddie stood slowly, freezing and shaking like a leaf, "That would be Dodgins, Virginia." The man abruptly sat up, "Midgard. I'm on Midgard." It wasn't a question and from the way he sort of spat the word, it was clearly not the place he wanted to find himself. Maddie covered her breasts, which were bra-less and very visibly affected by the cold, "Sure, if that's what you crazy kids are calling it these days." The man whose life she had (possibly) saved suddenly turned an icy stare on her, "You. Do you know who I am?" Teeth chattering she shook her head in the negative, "Not a clue, but something tells me that, whoever you are, you are definitely not from around here." The image of blue skin phasing back to white came vividly to her mind, "Really, really, not from around here." The man smirked at her remark, eyes remaining void of humor, "No, I'm really not."


	3. Play Nice

Hey there, I wasn't going to continue this story, but I really enjoy writing it so I thought I'd see where it went. I hope you enjoy, but if it's not your cup of tea then that's alright too. :) Sorry for any mistakes!

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><p>Loki was weak; a truth that did not sit well with him. Tearing himself away from the Tesseract, using what was left of his own power without the aid of the cube, had damaged him more than anything ever had before. Were he not a God, he would have not survived at all. For once in his life, Loki felt lucky to be alive. However, problems abounded; more pressingly, the fact that he now found himself trapped, without the aid of the Tesseract, in Midgard of all damnable places. The irony was not lost on him; confined to a world whose entire populace wanted nothing more than to see him strung up by his neck, how poetic. Well, he thought as his would-be savior came into the room wrapped tightly in a cocoon of blankets, perhaps not the entirety of it.<p>

The Midgardian hesitated in his presence before speaking, "Can I get you anything? A drink? Sandwich? …Spaceship?" Loki rolled his eyes at her attempt at humor, "I need nothing more than the shelter you've so graciously offered." The chit picked up on his venomous tone, clearly not pleased by it. A fact she made known in her next breath, "Look, I get that you don't want to be here on 'Midgard', as you so charmingly refer to it, but I'm trying to help you. I'm not exactly happy about your sudden," she paused, seemingly searching for the right term, "appearance. However, I'm, at least, trying to be civil about it. More than I can say for you. Would it kill you to be a little more pleasant? I did save your ass, you know."

It infuriated him that such a lowly creature dare try to shame him, a God, into gratitude. He wanted very badly to teach her to fear him as her kind ought to. Loki would have followed through on his near murderous urge had it not been for the shackles still latched tightly onto his wrists. His powers were beyond weak and, as brutish as it was, his only way to impart, what he considered to be, a much-needed lesson onto the girl would be through physical force. Unfortunately, until the manacles were removed, he was the one at a disadvantage. Loki would simply have to be patient; he would use his wits and charm to get what he wanted like ha had always done. Changing tactics he forced the corners of his mouth into an apologetic smile, "Forgive me, I have not spoken kindly to you. It was not my intention to be rude, I have taken out my frustrations on you and for that I am truly sorry. I am undoubtedly indebted to you and," Loki bowed his head slightly, "at your mercy."

Head still lowered, Loki raised his emerald eyes to peer coyly at the girl; she was staring at him, brows furrowed. Her continued silence made him slightly uneasy and he felt himself tense under her prolonged gaze. He kept his voice low, unthreatening, "Will you not speak?" Upon his inquiry the girl drew out of her own thoughts, nodding to herself she spoke, "Alright, I have a few questions for you." She spun on her heels, "But first, coffee." Loki watched as she walked away from him, disappearing into a separate room. He gnashed his teeth together, to stifle his anger, when she called after him, "Come along." He looked once more at the shackles round his wrists, scowling at them before compelling his countenance back into a more neutral position. As he trailed after her he thought darkly of all the ways he could, and would, make her pay for her insolence once he had regained his strength and powers.

They were seated across from one another at a small kitchen table meant for two. A coffee mug sat in front of Loki, he eyed it wearily before pushing it away from himself. The Midgardian raised an eyebrow at his subtle refusal, but didn't mention it. Instead she took a sip from her cup, sighed in contentment and then launched her first volley of enquiries. "So," she leaned back in her chair, making it creak, "What's your name?" Loki smirked, "I have many names." Rather than being baited by his remark, the girl took another long swallow of her drink, drawing out the already uncomfortable silence between them. Loki would not speak first though, not this time. Realizing that he had no intention of elaborating she opted to skip the introductions and ask what had really been on her mind, "Where are you from? You're not human, I saw you turn blue earlier." Loki stiffened involuntarily; an action that did not go unnoticed. His mind was in turmoil at the news of his… other appearance surfacing. He had no great love for the Frost Giants; indeed, he had almost destroyed them in his pursuit of approval by the Allfather. Try as he might, Loki could not associate himself with the monsters that had once frightened him as a child. No longer, though, did he associate himself with his Asgardian upbringing. After some consideration, Loki settled on a more vague answer, saying simply, "I come from a different world." As an afterthought he added, "Where I am from, I am a God." To his great displeasure the girl snorted into her coffee, "Yeah, okay. And where I'm from, I'm a queen." Loki glared at her, biting his tongue quite literally to keep from lashing out. When she realized that he was being serious, Maddie straightened in her chair, "You're not joking?" "I'm not," he answered, voice growing deeper with a hint of authority. Unable to contain his impish nature, Loki smiled mischievously, "Am I to understand, then, that I am truly in the presence of a great and noble queen?" Loki's eyes danced with mirth as the girl shifted uncomfortably in her seat, "N-not," she stuttered, "not exactly. I was being sarcastic." Loki feigned disappointed, "I see."

The girl cleared her throat, not meeting his gaze, before continuing, "While I understand that you're basically an alien, which is, surprisingly, not as strange as it should be what with that Iron man guy and all, I still don't understand why you're here." "Is that intended to be a question?" Loki asked dryly. "Yes." Loki sighed, feeling quite weary as he mulled over his answer. He couldn't possibly tell her the truth; it seemed as though this girl had not had access to a medium that would inform her of his misdeeds on Midgard. As far as he could tell, she knew nothing of the events of the city they called New York or of what had happened in Germany. That, he could use to his gain. Putting on an expression of pain his voice quivered as he spoke forlornly, "It was my birthright to rule. That right was stolen from me by those that I once called family; they would have me imprisoned, but I escaped. It was not my intention to come to Midgard, but, nevertheless, it is where I ended up." He stopped abruptly, met her eyes and began more softly, "If not for you, I shudder to think what would have become of me. You, my lady, are most certainly my savior." Loki was repulsed by his own words, but females seemed especially fond of and weak to flattery; with the exception of, perhaps, Sif. That one had never fell to his charms as others had, too in love with Thor, he assumed.

Maddie gave the man across from her a sympathetic smile, "That sounds terrible." Loki nodded in agreement, "Yes, it was. However, I feel as though, with you, I may begin to heal from the betrayal I suffered. Your kindness has given me hope, a feeling I never thought would come again. I wish to repay you for what you've done for me." He went to reach for her hands, "Ah. I had all but forgotten how I am still bound. It's a simple enough procedure to remove them, that is, if you wouldn't mind?" Loki gave her his best impression of what a mortal would call 'the puppy dog eyes'. The girl's sympathetic smile remained, but her voice bellied a strange tone to Loki when she began to speak, "You know, I went on a date once with this really handsome, charismatic guy who, like you, had a way with words. He knew exactly the right things to say and I liked him." Loki was confused and annoyed at the rather off topic story. His soft smile, already strained, left completely at her next words, "Thought I had a real winner, actually; right up until he tried to force himself on me. So, maybe it's my own trust issues coming out here, but I don't believe a damn word that's come out of your mouth since you started talking all nice and sweet-like. Someone put you in those cuffs for a reason, but that story you just told me? Sounds like bullshit and I'm not nearly stupid or naïve enough to believe that the guy who was a jerk to me after I fished him outta the lake and says 'Midgard' with such a hateful tone, isn't a possible threat. So, actually, I do mind. I'm not taking any more risks than I already have by letting you in here."

Loki was stunned into silence. He was furious, utterly furious. He hated the way she spoke so casually to him, so assertively. She had seen through him, knew he was lying, and yet she still spoke aggressively rather than quaking in terror. There was not a single trace of fear in her eyes, only caution. He was ruminating in his fury so hard that he almost failed to hear her add, "Unfortunately, my grandfather didn't believe too much in modern technology so this place has no landline or cell reception for me to call the local authorities to come haul your suspicious ass away. I'd take you in myself, but I'm stuck without a vehicle until my car gets out of the shop which should hopefully be in the next day or two. Until my mechanic friend gets here with it, we're both stuck with each other. If you don't like it, you're welcome to start walking now, towns about fifty miles down the road. It's a straight shot so you can't miss it." Loki realized in that moment that he had come to loathe this woman. He considered launching himself across the table to attack her, manacles be damned. In the end he couldn't bring himself to summon the necessary energy; and so, instead, he reached for the long forgotten coffee mug and brought it to his lips. The liquid was lukewarm, but sweet. The taste reminded him of the sweets he used to love when he was but a boy. "I didn't know how you took you're coffee so I just made it how I like mine, with lots of sugar. How is it?" "Awful." Loki responded, bringing the mug to his lips once more. Maddie grinned, "Whatever you say, Blue."


End file.
